Photo
of Brigus, NL in the fog by: Gary Whelan: Copyright
© 1996-2004 NF Interactive.
All rights reserved. www.nfinteractive.org/
Introduce
yourself as a Newfoundlander to someone in the province of Ontario and
one of the first things they want to do is tell you a newfie joke. There
are many mainlanders who honestly light up with awe, since these days
it is seen to be truly hip to be from "The Rock," and these
kind souls keep rude nuggets of borrowed 'comedy' to themselves. However,
there are still a few insipid organisms crawling around in the swamp of
life who just don't get it.
It's quite strange a behaviour, considering they often bend over backwards
to use politically-correct terms or apologize profusely for barely grazing
by you in the Market. But, put them within 10 feet of a Newfoundlander
and their uber-polite inhibitions disintegrate to display a supposedly-acceptable
art form: making fun of Newfs.
The joke usually involves either pure stupidity on behalf of some poor
retarded islander all on his own; or sometimes two other lucky contenders
of various temporarily less-than-par nationalities. “See, there’s
this Italian, a Polish guy and a New-FOUND-lander…,” they
mispronounce excitedly, as if the mere introduction should send you into
gales of laughter.
The sad part is that most of these mainlanders and CFAs (come-from-aways,
for the acronymically challenged) don’t get it. They don’t
get the fact that these jokes are not real newfie jokes. They
are racial slurs, to be more exact. They are the square pegs that do not
fit into the round hole of the peacekeeping and overly-polite Canadian
persona.
Sure, dey wouldn’t know a proper newfie joke if it hit ‘em
up da side da head. By’ is like dis, newfie jokes are culturally
rich, dialect-sensitive, historically hilarious and distinctly witty.
Most of the aforementioned mainlanders wouldn’t catch on to a true
newfie joke to save der lives 'cause der dat stunned dey don’t know
der heads from der arses. Not only dat, dey’ve never boddered to
experience da culture, or expose demselves to the incredibly optimistic
and humourous psyche of a twenty-first century culture of the rarest kind.
Newfoundlanders are sharp as tacks from Blow-Me-Down to Come-By-Chance.
They are busy as nailers, bold as brass, saucy as crackies and as foolish
as caplin, not to mention intelligent. They crafty, cracked and the salt
of the earth. If there’s a mainlander out dere dat knows what a
scuff or a scoff is; or slieveen or a streel, then welcome to the secret
nation of Newfoundland culture. Until den, keep yer gob shut til ya knows
whacher at.
~bsmith
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